Inayat was barely 4 when she was separated from her parents. For a four-year-old, this was extremely overwhelming, and at her Naanu’s place, she felt abandoned. For days, she could not process what really happened and why suddenly her mother’s warm embrace and her dad’s infinite love and laughter had vanished. The day her mom left her, she had fed her, her favorite kadhi chawal morsel by morsel, hugging her tight after every bite. Innu (as her mom called her) had an unparalleled love for kadhi chawal, it was her soul food and she could have it 365 days a year till that day but since then it had became an alarming bell for her that she was going to lose what was most dear to her or atleast her young mind felt so.
Thereafter, Innu grew up in a fiercely independent young woman in her maternal grandparents' home, humble and polite, and ready to kiss the sky. But she could never forgive her parents and often dreamt of her mother with a bowl of kadhi chawal and her dad teasing her that she would not get them until she gave them both 5 kisses each, a game they often played.
Her naanu ensured that no one in their household made kadhi chawal, to prevent her granddaughter from bursting into tears, which she always did, as her once soul food today became her worst memory and fear.
Naanu had hidden a bitter truth from Innu and wanted to prevent it from surfacing for as long as she could. In her heart, Indrani has resolved to dig it out one day, as her soul was devoid of the joy of all her accomplishments, sans the two people she loved the most.
By God’s grace, Innu soon cleared the IAS exam and got a posting in Banaras where she was allotted a residence whose caretakers were Raahat bhaiya, a pot-bellied, middle-aged, dark man who greeted Innu with a brown grin so full of warmth, and his petite and brown eyes wife, Rati. As she freshened up, he went to ready the lunch for her in the kitchen. She had experienced a very strange familiarity with him from the moment she had spotted him and felt a strong connection with him, but as a new officer, she had so much on her plate to look forward to and to plan and execute. She had worked very hard for this moment and had promised herself that she would leave no stone unturned to fulfil her duties. She had decided to move on.
Lost in her thoughts, she sat on the dining table for lunch, and a very familiar,r, intoxicating food smell from the kitchen shook her soul. She was served piping hot and divine-smelling Kadhi Chawal for lunch, and once again, tears welled up in her eyes. They smelled exactly like how her mother used to make them. In that moment, her fear was overpowered by a priceless joy, and she devoured her soul food, morsel by morsel, until the last bit, satiating her heart, for the first time in the last 22 years. She almost felt her mom was around, feeding her. Raahat told her that the Kadhi Chawal was prepared by his wife Rati in the morning and that they live in the outhouse, taking care of the officers' residence in Benares for the last 20 years.
Post lunch, Innu immediately started for her office to complete her joining formalities, but destiny had other plans. Heartbreakingly, her car was smashed into the divider by a speeding truck coming wrong side, and she escaped death by a whisker. As she regained consciousness in the hospital after almost a fortnight, all she could remember was eating Kadhi Chawal moments before she was about to lose her life, and her fear came back; she dreaded eating them again in a state of trance.
When discharged, back at her residence, though still with multiple fractures, Innu was given extreme care by Raahat bhaiya and his wife Rati, who was a very kind lady and had experience working as a nurse. She loved Innu like her own daughter, doing all her personal work, including bathing her and combing her long tresses, and feeding her. Innu sometimes wondered how she had the same peculiar style of rolling rice and daal or gravy into solid balls by throwing them gently in the air before feeding her, exactly like her mother. It soothed Innu’s heart like never before. Naanu inquired about her well-being often, but her old age had made her confined to bed, so she could not come to be on Innu’s side, though Innu’s boss had been kind enough to accept her long leave plea.
On the long road to recovery as time elapsed, Rati unknowingly started healing all the scars of Innu’s heart created by the loss of her mother and Innu gradually started opening up to her about all the mental agony and pain she has buried in the deepest corners of her heart albeit still containing a lot of it.
She often wondered about her love and hate relationship with her soul food Kadhi Chawal too, how she still loves it the most, but the fear to eat it is her worst nightmare though now she wonders what else she can lose and most importantly, does it has any connection with her parents never coming back. She always wondered where they went and why Naanu never ever told her this secret. Her soul kept searching for answers and starving for her favorite kadhi chawal.
Every day, Rati made Innu’s favourite food, but whenever she wished to make Kadhi Chawal, Innu would say one day she would have it from her hand, surely, but not until then. Being in the prime of her youth, Indrani soon felt better and joined the office while Rati remained her constant for a long, long time to come.
Innu loved her work and completely soaked her in it. She has always had a burning desire to work on uplifting and empowering unprivileged women, and in her job, she got closest to fulfilling these goals of hers, but despite being a workaholic, she always experienced a perennial void. Rati did understand that Innu had lost her parents as a child, which always motivated her to move on.
“Madam, you must get married now!” She would lovingly nudge Innu as she would oil her hair every Sunday without fail, and Innu would giggle back,
“Who do you think will be able to handle me?”
The banter would go on and on with Rati praying and manifesting a prince-like groom for her daughter like madam. So yes, eventually, Innu did find someone. His name was Atharv, and he ran an NGO to reunite the lost ones with their families after his office hours. That’s where their friendship culminated. Atharv was a simple, sweet, lovable young man, and his love filled Innu’s void, and for the first time in her life, she bubbled with joy and smiled with an open heart without any fear.
With Naanu’s blessings and in the presence of Rati and Raahat, the two love birds tied the knot and were soon blessed with a lovely little princess, Nia, and their world became complete.
Innu finally felt calm and blissful, but still saw her mom in her dreams with a bowl of her favorite kadhi chawal wanting to feed her, which she dreaded eating now, though she missed it and often felt like feeding it to her daughter exactly like her mother. But her trauma has made her paranoid. She had lost all hope of being able to fathom the truth about her parents.
However, Innu always felt that the way Rati fed and reared her daughter was similar to what she remembered of her mom, and was happy to have her as an elderly person in the house. Rati became her mom’s silhouette to Innu and her family.
Atharv, however, understood that his wife’s concealed distress would eventually rub off on their daughter and persuaded her to tell him...to be continued
